Learning Nonetheless - Eva Varga

October 26, 20073

The kiddos and I met the COOL group downtown today to attend The Miracle Worker, a theatrical play about Helen Keller. It was an educational experience…. but not in the way you would expect.

When I was in the fourth grade, I remember reading a biography on Helen Keller and was captivated by her story. I started writing my name on my paper in Braille… Mr. Claska, my teacher, said it took him quite a while to figure out whose paper it was. This, of course, inspired me to complete entire assignments in Braille as well. I basically poked tiny holes in my paper using a soft eraser underneath so the hole wouldn’t puncture all the way through the paper… just enough to make a little bump. To accomplish this, I had to write out the dotted alphabet backwards, so when the paper was turned over and positioned correctly, the words would be spelled correctly and thus legible with fingers.

So you can imagine my excitement when I learned that a local theater group would be presenting the play. We borrowed several books from the library and read up on Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan. Sweetie added Helen Keller to her ‘Book of Centuries‘. We were both surprised to learn that she was born in 1880, the same year that we protray at the museum.

Before our arrival, I discussed with the kids my expectations for their behavior. Both insisted that they would remain quiet and seated throughout the performance. I even stooped low and said we’d go out for hot cocoa or ice-cream (their choice) afterwards if they indeed behaved themselves.

I should not have gotten my hopes up for no sooner were we shown our seats and Buddy starts to climb up and down the steps…. walk up the aisles…. investigate the restrooms…. bang on the seats… he just doesn’t sit still and to top it off, continually makes noises throughout the first act. I tried to pacify him with a lollipop but he devoured it in just a few minutes. At one point, he gets his foot caught and twisted between two seats as he is attempting to climb out of my lap and into the vacant seat beside me. He cries in pain. As soon as he calms down, an usher comes up to us and hints that we should probably leave if he can’t settle down. URGH! I decide not to try any longer and we pack up.

I am embarrassed once again (yesterday, his behavior elicted an ‘involuntary vacation‘ from the fitness center). Sweetie was very disappointed herself. I hated that his misdeeds were causing her to miss out on something she has looked forward to doing.

As it was just 10:30, we went to Costco for groceries. On the way home, we made a quick stop at Dairy Queen so Sweetie could get the ice cream treat she had been promised. Buddy was furious that he didn’t get to pick out a treat. When we got home and I proceeded to unbuckle him from his carseat, he kicked me in the chin. He thereby earned himself another timeout – buckled in his seat – as I unloaded the car.

I have had to remind myself that a lesson was learned today. Not the one necessarily planned but a life lesson nonetheless.

I am perplexed. I don’t know exactly how to approach his misbehavior. I’ve been using the same strategies with him as I did with Sweetie. Time-outs just don’t seem to work with him. I’ve tried taking toys away and he actually brings them to me… even his favorites. The Love & Logic strategies I’ve always used do not seem to work as well with him. He is just 2 1/2 years old… I hope it is just a phase.


  • Backofpack

    October 27, 2007 at 3:48 am

    How old is Buddy? I would like to chat about this, but won’t go there unless you are interested. Shoot me an email if you are.

  • Makita

    October 28, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Thank you so much for your insight, Michelle. I completely agree with everything you said in your email.

    I am always interested in learning more… hearing about what has (or has not) worked for others. If nothing else, I know I’m not alone.


  • MooBee Mama

    October 30, 2007 at 12:51 am

    Have you ever read the book “To Train up a Child?” It kicked my butt one year when I was having the same struggles. Lots of good nuggets in that book but not for everyone.

    Your honesty is refreshing.

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